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Earlier this spring we noticed a starling had made a nest in our neighbor’s attic vents. One morning the neighbors covered the vent and Isla was very concerned about the welfare of the baby birds. As she observed the frantic mother bird, she became increasingly upset. There were a lot of tears. I felt her pain too. She begged me to contact our neighbors and ask them to open up the vent so the mom could get to her babies. I was so torn— I couldn’t bear the thought of the birds or Isla suffering, but I hated the thought of overstepping and insulting our neighbors, who have been nothing but loving and helpful to us. ⠀⠀
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I tried to explain my dilemma to Isla as tenderly as I could— people handle situations differently, the birds were causing destruction to their home, questioning our neighbors’ decisions might ruin our relationship with them. She turned to me, her face stained with tears, and sharply asked, “What’s more important, Mom?! Maybe upsetting our friends or the lives of those babies?” ⠀⠀
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Gut punch. She was absolutely right. My fear of facing potential discomfort was not only silencing my inner voice, it was silencing hers. I realized in that moment my actions were teaching her to ignore her heart, stuff her feelings down, and give up when challenged. I vowed right then and there I would never again attempt to silence her because of my own fears.⠀⠀
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Isaac, Isla and I drafted a message and sent it to our neighbors. Touched by Isla’s concern and courage, they agreed to unblock the opening, let the baby birds grow up and leave on their own before closing up the vents. They agreed to the continued damage, mess, and expense for the sake of those babies and for the sake of our girl, who was BRAVE ENOUGH TO SPEAK UP.⠀
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The birds stayed for another few weeks, and each happy chirp reminded us that our voices had made a difference. Our experience with the starlings is certainly not a direct parallel to the battle against racism and bigotry in our nation, but it was a valuable reminder to our family to always speak up for what we believe is right. I am so very grateful to our Isla for reminding us that we should never let fear or discomfort silence our voices.
